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Hello, dear community.
I am a medical doctor, a psychiatrist if you will. Recently I've been doing studies that involve adolescents and certain game I forged. Unfortunately, the last user seems to have lost it and I need it back urgently. In hopes of retrieving it, I thought I would put up this listing with the reward of $1,000.00 if returned.
Instead of having to explain what this said game is, I thought it would be more... intriguing to give you the records I have for the last patient I mentioned. She had the most detailed recording, after all...
''Alisha Olivia Cooper's Medical Diary''
''Entry 1- Tuesday, May 14th, 2010: ''
As a child growing up I've always had social problems. First of all, I was about 7 feet tall in kindergarten and always wore dude-like outfits the school. Second; I'm naturally socially awkward. I can't talk to others with messing up or vomiting blood. Third; I'm very, very antisocial. I dislike people, who wouldn't?
Mom made me go to a professional about my issues. In the end I was given some drugs and the diary to write in. I'm told to write in this dumb thing every time I experience discomfort or excitement and list what I think is causing it. The God damn quack thinks I'm a real nut-job. I'm going write in it like REAL diary. Anyways, this page is only a intro- again I was told to write this crap. I feel so stupid.
''Entry 2- Thursday, May 16th, 2010:''
I had another appointment today. The Quack was told I was feeling a little down- which is a fucking lie. Mom just wants to get rid of me, even if it's only for an hour.
I'm 17 and this guy treats me like a 6 year old. We talked about any urges I had. One in particular he pushed at was if I planned on killing anybody. That bastard only did one thing I was some-what in favor of: he gave me a video game to help boost my interaction skills. At first I thought I would be getting a massive online multiplayer shooter, but no. I got fucking Hey You, Pikachu! for the N64. I didn't even own a N64, how the fuck am I supposed to play this shit?
''Entry 3- Monday, May 20th, 2010:''
I got an N64 in the mail today. So I hooked up this fossil and played some Pokémanz. By talking to a virtual pet I'll learn how to interact with others? For the love of fucking Jesus Christ...
''Entry 4- Tuesday, May 21st, 2010:''
I played mini-games with Pikachu. That little twat must be deaf or something 'cause it never listens to me. Fucking Oak wants me to interact with it, but I just walk around the area. I've never played a Pokémon game before, I don't think I ever will after my "treatment."
''Entry 5- Wednesday, May 22nd, 2010:''
Another damn appointment. I got more pills. This time it was for depression.
I played the game a bit more and the damn thing glitched up on me. I was right in the middle of saying goodbye to that furry bastard when the screen turned into a pixelated mess. I jiggled the cartridge a bit and the picture came in, but now it's all in Japanese. Fuck.
In the end, you get to keep Pikachu... Yay.
I fed the thing some vegtables from the garden. Is it normal for it to gain a few pounds?
''Entry 6- Thursday, May 23rd, 2010:''
Pikachu got really fat. I mean REALLY, REALLY fat. I ate on its own. Also, now the rat only responds to Japanese commands. How am I supposed to play now?
It seemed clingy today...
''Entry 7- Friday, May 24th, 2010:''
This Pikachu won't leave my side. It literally drags itself behind me. Maybe this is another glitch.
I sometimes translate some text on the screen with my computer. But one in particular caught my interest.
”''ピカチュウが大すきです。。。''"
It translates "Pikachu really likes you...," and it's kind of funny. Oak didn't say it. It just popped up in the middle of the screen in a red text box.
''Entry 8- Saturday, May 25th, 2010:''
The game won't shut off. I keep flicking the switch but the screen quickly blinks red and fades back into view with Pikachu in the middle of the room, seemingly upset.
I won't leave me alone. I even unplugged the system, but the picture remained on the TV. I unplugged the game console from the TV and the TV from the wall and still nothing. I ran down the stairs and told Mom. "Must be a glitch, Dear." The bitch.
Awkwardly enough, Pikachu seems to have grown to outrageous proportions as far as weight goes...
''------''
I'm writing this down as fast as I can because I must get this all down- incase something happens. Pikachu isn't on the TV anymore. At first I was relieved that the problem was supposedly fix, but I felt something on my leg. It was soft and gentle, almost... furry. I looked down and my heart nearly exploded. Pikachu was right there. It somehow materialized into our world.
It was fat; very, very fat. It's cheeks were swollen to the size where you could fill them with three baseballs (I double-checked this with actual balls). It's eyes, once round and cheerful, were squashed and red dots seemed to hover inside. It could barely keep its tongue in.
It wasn't friendly at all. I looked up at me with pure hatred. A text box appeared in my vision. "すきです。” Or "I like/love you." I freaked out. It opened its horrid mouth and showed its 6 rows of teeth with 6 teeth per row and 6 points per tooth- shark-like shit. It moved very quick for its size.
It bit my leg several times. Now it's to the point where the limb just hangs by a few thin muscles. It began to repeat its "Iloveyou" phrase over and over again in a demonic tone that was not of a Pikachu while crying blood. It was very satanic... then I heard it repeat "666" and a red text box appeared in my vision again say the same thing. It tried to do an electric attack, but failed and its only accomplishment was shitting on my rug. I glanced behind me and saw it vomit blood. It was very hyper-realistic.
I quickly crawled away, with this book in hand, with my one useable leg and arms. I found my Mom and Dad dead on the floor, their necks were eaten at... almost like Pikachu wanted me all for itself. I cut the power and phone lines and nailed the doors to exit my house shut. Then I boarded up the windows from the outside to keep the thing inside. On them, I read it written in blood: "''すきです！''” Oh, no wait. Now I'm stuck...
Right now, I'm hiding in the vents. I hear it making gurgling noises and humming a strange tune. A very familiar tune. From what I know of Pokémon, it might have been the Lavender Town song.
I have nowhere to run- er, crawl. I here it clawing at the vent lids. It must have followed the aroma of blood. I'm bleeding out far too much and I'm getting dizzy. I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't want it to love me... LEAVE ME ALONE! THAT GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING COCK-SUCKING KUNT OF A QUACK!!!
Then another text box appeared. "PIKACHU has DIED!" Oh no, my poor Pikachu! I ran out of the vent and it ate me. I'm writing this from beyond the grave you see. And Satan says to hurry up and write it so he can drag me to the deepest of deep pits of Hell. So bye!
-Thank you,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Quack.